Most people don’t agree with Chimamanda’s definition of
feminism mostly because of the word equality.
Equality is the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity,
degree, value, rank, or ability. I fully understand why equality isn’t right
because this comes to mind.
Equality is definitely on the left while equity is what you
see on your right. When she mentioned equality what came to mind were equal
social, politician and economic rewards for the same efforts by a man and
woman. Some also argue that feminists are trying to be hard (like a man), as
opposed to being gentle (feminine) which I think is really silly. True feminist
are just trying to own who they are and be unapologetic about it. To be
involved with any movement specially something like gender inequality, you have
to be very objective and balanced in your views, understand why you actually
choose this path and what you aim to achieve with it. If you make any decision
based on hate, resentment or fear, well you have to pause and revaluate your
priorities.
Most women, especially in underdeveloped countries have be
so maltreated by their male counterparts
that they use feminism as a breathing ground for hate and
revenge. They say things like, “I’m an empowered feminist, and I don’t take
bullshit from men. I can sleep with whomever I want when I want because it’s my
body and I’m so tired of the double standard (so why don’t you go around having
unprotected sex because it’s your body). Deep down, people like that don’t want
to be promiscuous, they just want to copy of from the male folk. I mean if you want to have random sex, have
random sex. Don’t do it because men are doing it.
I can understand why a woman would lash out because she’s
been sexual frustrated for far too long.
Imagine living your life based on the idea of what a good woman should
be, chaste, meek, kind, gentle, calm, and born-again when their male
counterparts can be ‘bad guys’. When all you really want to do is let loose and
walk up to the guy at the bar. Because, the idea of what a good woman is and
what a good man is, is totally different. Women have this immerse pressure to
be the cook, driver, business woman, child bearer, nurse, working class woman,
home keeper, wife, all at the same time. All this multitasking has to be done
without a spick of sweat, still looking like a sixteen year old virgin. Some
women use feminism as an avenue to lash out at society, for giving these
unrealistic expectations. So they’re trying to redefine who the idea woman is
and let’s be honest we all move to the definitions that best suit our
situations. Men on the other hand just have to be the sole provider. We never
really consider how this movement really affects our male counterparts. Now
women can be everything they want to be and more, some women even wonder if we
need men when we have artificial insemination and dildos.
I believe that feminism is the best thing that ever happened
in our modern day society, at least the awareness of it. The fact that hard
working and able women would be competing for the same jobs that were readily
able to men pushes the society as a whole to work harder and smarter. People
always complain and say that they’re no jobs, the fact is new technologies are
replacing the labour force not just the existence of women in the labour
market. Standards and expectations are
being raised, which is an amazing breathing ground for thriving economies.
I always wonder why pseudo-feminists have this need to
emasculate men, to cut off their balls and glue them on their vaginas. Because
of this I would understand why people would advocate for femininity as oppose
to feminism. What about balance what about embracing your true self. There are
lots of women who think this whole feminism thing is nonsense, who enjoy being
mothers and caregiver, who believe that their true calling in life is to be a
mother. One of those persons is my
mother. She loves being a mother and nothing else. She’s tried several
businesses and she’d end them. When I was young and foolish I used to get angry
at her, wondering why she didn’t fight the good fight of feminism. Why she love
being at home so much and treating everyone around her like babies. I began to
understand that, she was who she was and no matter how she tried to be someone
else she just couldn’t. My dad would always say how she has a way with people,
how warm and friendly she was. For most men this is the idea woman,
non-threating and meek. I believe in embracing every part of your true selves
both masculine and feminine. Did you know that lots of men have a hard time
expressing such emotions as fear, vulnerability and weakness? I bet they also want to have the right to express
themselves in that light and I believe that the time is coming were everyone
would be allowed to express their true selves, not just women please check out
the amazing psychologist and author Brene
Brown.
In
conclusion, rubbing the fact that we can do all things in men’s faces and trying
to become them isn’t the way to go about fighting for social justice. We should
be sensitivity to the fact that as the world changes men are coming to terms
with the fact that their roles as sole providers are quickly being taking away
from them. This fact doesn’t excuse the spineless men who try to put women down
in other to prove their dominant roles; it just makes us more empathic to the
sensible ones. Trying to become them
just messes up with the whole scheme of things. But owning who you are, and
living an interdependent life is the way forward
